Redefining the Debate on Marriage

We need to get off our back foot on this, and put those who are in *opposition* to fairness and equality in the position of having to qualify and defend *their* stances.

There are some statements we should embrace - make our mantra, if you will - in increasing levels of complexity. I'll include a description of why each works. In any of these, "I" can be replaced by "we" when one is speaking on behalf of an organization.

"I'M FOR MARRIAGE.": This is short, sweet, and puts anyone in the position of disagreeing with this having to qualify, explain, and defend. 
("I disagree." "Why are you against marriage?" "I'm against your definition of marriage." "I define marriage as couples in love uniting to form a strong family. Which part of that are you against?")

"I'M FOR COUPLES IN LOVE BEING FREE TO GET MARRIED.": This restricts the definition to couples (so no one throws polygamy at us), and adds "being free" - something that it's hard to be against. ("So, you disagree. Do you disagree with 'couples being in love', 'freedom', or 'marriage'?" "You're redefining marriage." "Interracial couples can now get married, and you don't have to marry your rapist. It's been redefined over the years.")

"I'M FOR COUPLES IN LOVE BEING FREE TO ENJOY THE RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF MARRIAGE, CREATING STRONGER FAMILIES AND COMMUNITIES.": This adds the idea that we not only want the rights, but we also gladly accept the responsibilities that come along with those rights. We want to make our families and communities stronger. ("Which part of this are you against? Couples in love, stronger families or stronger communities?")

I support churches doing whatever churches want to do; I am free to (or not to) affiliate with them.

My Gay Agenda

I'm an American. I'm Christian. I'm gay, and always have been. I pay property taxes, sales taxes, and Federal taxes. I serve on a board at the University, and I support local charities. I support my alma mater. I work very hard for my employer of 24+ years. I buy things from local merchants when I can, and I believe that strong families build strong communities. I'm a Freemason. I'm in Mensa. I recycle. I buy girl scout cookies. I teach the concealed handgun licensing course. I'm raising my 8th guide dog puppy for the blind. I play bingo with friends & neighbors. My parents are aging, and I wonder what the future will hold for their health and mobility. I spoil my niece and nephew. I manage my investments and prepare for retirement. I'm fiscally conservative. I do the laundry. I help my neighbors when they have computer problems, and they repay me with baked goods.

Does someone want to show me the "gay agenda" in that?

Does someone want to tell me why I deserve to be part of a "second class" that can't enjoy all the benefits of living in this great nation and this great state?

I'm like a lot of people - except that I can't get married, absent protections from my forward-thinking employer I could be fired just for being gay, and can be in a relationship for 4 months, 4 years, 14 years, or 40 years and still be treated as strangers in the eyes of the State (while Britney Spears can get married on a drunken whim and immediately get all the rights & responsibilities of marriage: THAT is the crap from which marriage needs to be protected).

I would never force any church to marry gay folks; if they don't want to extend the welcome God extends to all His children, then I don't want to be a part of that community. There are plenty of welcoming churches (and Justices of the Peace) out there. But the "full faith & credit" clause of our great nation needs to be honored.

There's only one thing that I wrote that "entitles" me to equal treatment under the law, and that's my first three words: "I'm an American."